Lots of work to do!

Got a lot of work to do, which means time for other things is diminished, would like to work on my Windows Phone website however this will have to wait for a couple of weeks, the benefit is I’ll be able to launch with more content when it does - which is good as well as spend more time on getting the design quite right, so will be worth the extra time spent.

I’m finding I’m starting to get stuck into work now, and can be “in the zone” again, which is something I’ve found this really hard to do in the past few weeks but really find I’m pretty Ok right now which is good - there’s still a couple of things I’ll have to deal with as they come up in the next few weeks but I’ll get to the point where I don’t think about too many things too much, and especially overthinking things too - am trying to avoid that.

It’s probably been the worst and best of times the past few months, however I’ve found myself in a position now where I’m more confident than I’ve ever been, more outgoing, more conversational (less about Windows Phone) and have probably gained more than I ever thought - if I’d just been like this all along things wouldn’t have been so bad and wouldn’t have made so many mistakes, but what I can do is apply myself and keep motivated and not be unrealistic about things.

I have lots of work to do and have lacked that motivation that I used to have but it’s coming back without losing what I’ve gained but I do still feel down from time to time, but not as much as I did before and usually about specific things and then I don’t obsess about them - there are so many things I’ve missed out on and now I’m in a position to change things for the better, by just being realistic and positive and just being a better person is what I can do and not let things go too far in the wrong direction.

Not everyone knows all the things that have happened to me in the past, they aren’t really bad in the grand scheme of things but these things have made me the person I am today and I can only work with what I am and can’t expect anything to change overnight - except my willingness to change has changed, excuse the pun. I know the only person that can make anything happen is me, and so far it’s working well as I’m getting more focused and doing new things - some support from others is there and I know I can count on that which even if it isn’t given is a great thing to know that it’s there.

I’ve made one big change so far in work, and have changed to some extent my social life - by actually having one, and know I don’t have to even do much more than I was doing to enjoy myself - I’d supressed my feelings and emotions so long I’d forgotten how to feel most of them - the positive ones and the negative ones - but now I let them out I feel much better for doing so and don’t feel too much more like an outsider - even though I still remain a little on the edge of most situations and don’t really get involved.