I am doing enough?

I’d like to think I’ve changed a lot recently - I’m more willing to try new things, a bit more outgoing, confident and have a sense of humour that I’m more willing to let out to people I don’t know that well and finding it better the gauge the tone that a situation requires - but is this enough?

I’m surrounded by a lot of people my age or younger who seem to have enough for them - but I’ve missed out a lot in the past few years and have let things as they had been go on for far longer than I should have, people my age are getting married, having kids or happy as they are - which I was in the latter but feel like I’ve really missed out on the former and the past few months have taught me that I don’t know everything and have made long and short term mistakes that have cost me in ways I hadn’t realised.

I suppose like an advert on TV says that being single is great and you choose to give it up is a good way of looking at it - I’d chosen either directly or indirectly to be as I was but I never really enjoyed it, except going out for events and being with other people I’d not realised how much I’d missed that in my life - I tried to over compensate then when something went wrong I didn’t deal with it properly and made things a lot worse because I thought I had no one to confide in.

However friends I do have and didn’t realise, some from years ago and those more recent I’d met at events plus work colleagues were always there and were there for me when I needed it - I just didn’t realise, this is something I’d really only had recently, so getting out more did help but was probably doing it too much.

However I’ve not always been single, this might have been the case if I’d made a couple of choices earlier or later but it did happen to me but over a decade now - which makes me realise how much time has passed me by I think - sometimes don’t feel the age I am until I find I can’t get out all the time! Although that didn’t last it was one of the best times of my life.

Seeing others together with people doesn’t hurt me at all, I’m happy for them - my only wish is to be as happy as them, I’m interested in what’s going on with them as I find like everyone it’s good to talk about things, not just the negative but the positive even if they highlight the position I’m in - it isn’t really a problem for me as much as I thought it would be.

However back to the question I am doing enough? I’m not sure really I’m doing a lot more than I have and found it is never too late to try something new and maybe that’s the biggest change of all I’ve made - I’m doing things I’ve never done - met people I never would have otherwise and just enjoy myself and see what happens.