Getting out more and being realistic
As a more general part of improving myself this year I’ve realised I’ve not been getting out much - which is probably why I’ve had such a hard time of late, and not been dealing with things the right way. I’ve always been a bit of a loner, not really talking to people - this has improved a little in the past couple of years due to the number of events I attend but in the past few weeks I’d gone to more and more events and really liked it - probably over did it a little bit too much in December but found myself again.
However my main problem is I don’t know what to do - I’ve asked people for ideas as I don’t know what to do and they’re great ideas, ones I never would have had myself, when you are a student it is easy to get out, you just go to the Student’s Union or can see people all the time, however when you work and you’re my age - then what do you do, you can go with work colleagues, but you see them all the time anyway, this does help increase going out - but it isn’t meeting new people, which is something I need to do.
Going to the cinema or theatre sounds OK - I’ve done this many times before, although not recently - even got myself to the Baltic to see the Turner Prize, although that was on my own, I used to like going to places on my own - but now I would like someone to share this with, even if it is friends - I don’t have many of those, have lost touch with a lot of people I knew and only have a couple of old school friends, of which I’d only got back in touch with recently.
As I’ve said before I do talk to people at the events I go to anyway and will continue to do so, but the opportunities to meet anyone new are few and far between, however joining Codeworks has been a great idea and wished I’d done it sooner - there was a whole group of people I’d never seen before, or some I’d not seen for years, and that’s great.
I’m not that confident and don’t really know how to get out more anyway, meeting new people will be impossible, especially finding that someone special - that will be even more difficult if I don’t even get out at all. I do see a lot of people in their 20s having a great time and wished I’d done so at that age, and a part of me feels it might be too late to do this and maybe I should just diminish and accept this is they way it is going to be for me for the rest of my life - but I can’t do it anymore, I don’t want to be like this anymore but also don’t know how to change.
However I’ve taken my first steps two achieve this goal by going to new groups and even got myself out last night on my own for the first time in a long while and found it’s not the number of times you go out but where and who you spent that time with is what seems to matter - and I have met some new people recently and got a lot of useful advise from others and find there’s not only help in a crisis but also just something to do or people to do it with - in fact this post was written before today and I feel differently enough to add this extra section to show that things are changing quicker than I expected, but am starting to be more happy with the way things are and feel more centred and really there is just one simple goal I hope to achieve after all - that’s to meet someone I can spend time with and likes spending time with me maybe I’ll meet her tomorrow or next month, or many months from now but I think this is what I need and probably wouldn’t have got so lost recently had this been the case - but I have friends and colleagues to help me in a way I never knew before and I’m being more realistic in the fact I just won’t meet someone and that there’s no guarantee of success, but it’s worth trying and the rewards for doing so are greater than doing nothing.
I’ve dealt with a lot of things recently which I think prepares me better for any lack of success in this area and deal with rejection, mistakes better and maybe all of this will be more valuable than I realise - I seemed to focus on the negative too much and tried to overcompensate by making things worse for myself. Seeing the positive is starting to become a little easier for me and actually find myself enjoying things more than I did before and don’t feel as down, I’ve still got a long way ahead of me and there’s no quick fix - I’ve made a lot of progress in a short period of time and think I’m ready for this new challenge which simply starts with getting out more and being realistic.
