Events I go to and ones I should go to

Being a rather often event attendee it’s probably a good idea to keep a track of the ones I’ve attended or attend on a regular basis. The last Monday of the month is SuperMondays which covers topics from Databases, to Open Source to Design, Freelancing or featured pitches from companies and startups like the company I work for now. NEBytes which is the second Wednesday of the month (or more often sometimes) and is IT Pro / Developer oriented with a talk about either but sometimes both and has featured Windows 8, Windows Phone (including a talk from myself!), Sharepoint and Virtualisation.

I’ve also joined Codeworks and been to a couple of events already including The PUD, and Pitching to Tech Startups but haven’t been to their Think and Drink events yet which I’m looking forward to catching up with some of the people I’ve spoken too - although I’m a little apprehensive about it. I also have attended DataRama - which is every two months but have only been to a couple so far but really enjoyed them and also joined DesignInterests and have been to a few of their events already.

I don’t just attend the regular events I’m there for the one-off ones or less often ones like DIBI which has the chance to stay over in The Sage overnight - which I haven’t decided yet to do that - could be a bit odd! Plus there are other things I’ve attended about startups and things related to that. I’ve also been to BarCamp NorthEast a couple of times and always look forward to the next one, and also any special events that come up such as today’s Science of Innovation - which sounds really interesting!

I’m always looking for more things to go to - I know people who go to many more events than I but I take a wide interest, tend to avoid the developer events as many don’t focus on what I’m doing but will attend if the topic interests me - don’t have a preference for relevance really as tend to find there is something always useful I can get such as the DesignInterests event had a talk about using available light which came in very handy when I did the Newcastle Photowalk a couple of weeks back, so you never know when something might come in handy!

If you know of any events I should attend either in the North East or around the country even - have attended Windows Phone events in Manchester, London and Edinburgh and other things besides, then let me know on Twitter or Facebook I might find a new interest or meet more people - and I don’t mind that at all!

Wedding Tales

Not the excellent website http://weddingtales.co.uk/ where you can share and collate photos of your wedding (which is a great idea by the way), but the topic in general, a lot of people I know are either married, getting married, engaged or in a long term relationship or somewhere inbetween - and that’s great! I think people might be suprised to hear that I don’t mind hearing about this sort of thing - not all the time of course but I find I’m interested in what people are up to and just because it’s about wedding stuff doesn’t mean I’m any less so interested or I have to be “protected”.

In years gone by I wouldn’t really have had the chance to know anyone in this situation but with new people and new work comes more of this, in fact a lot more - if it really bothered me I’d have been driven daft by now! But I find I am interested - maybe because I’ve reached that age where you start caring about what other people are doing and I’m not as self-centred as I used to be. I think people get the wrong impression about what I think about all this and it’s time to set the record straight!

I don’t mind talk of engagements, weddings or anything relationshipwise at all when it comes up - what I don’t like is people trying to avoid it because they think I’m going to be bothered by it - I’m bothered by that thought. I do admit that sometimes I feel a little down when people talk about things like this - but my interest and seeing other people being happy is more important. I don’t want people to avoid expressing themselves, I don’t think this is happening with people I know but the odd thought about this probably has come up.

I know I’ve been single a long time and although it has come up recently again that I’m not really enjoying that so much it’s my reality and has been so for a very long time - I’ve been single longer than I’ve been in a couple by a long way, and remember how happy I was and don’t want to deny others that, even if I don’t have that myself I do appreciate that others do and don’t want to seem even more excluded from others as some form of protection.

I’ve found I’ve been quite happy to hear about people getting engaged or having children or just being in a relationship and see the changes it’s made in their life, it used to bother me when I didn’t think about it much for myself, but now I do - it doesn’t bother me, which is probably the wrong way round. I know I probably have made the position I’m in for myself and can’t really change that overnight - but what I do have is an appreciation for those around me and find that’s more important is to be surrounded by people I enjoy being with and know that they need not worry if they say something that will make me feel excluded if they mention a wife, partner or girlfriend - that isn’t the case, but of course I love to be the one talking about my relationships etc. if it came up - but there’s nothing to talk about, but if there is - that’s something I can share with the people I know, and if not I know they’ll be there and that’s what’s really important.

Lots of work to do!

Got a lot of work to do, which means time for other things is diminished, would like to work on my Windows Phone website however this will have to wait for a couple of weeks, the benefit is I’ll be able to launch with more content when it does - which is good as well as spend more time on getting the design quite right, so will be worth the extra time spent.

I’m finding I’m starting to get stuck into work now, and can be “in the zone” again, which is something I’ve found this really hard to do in the past few weeks but really find I’m pretty Ok right now which is good - there’s still a couple of things I’ll have to deal with as they come up in the next few weeks but I’ll get to the point where I don’t think about too many things too much, and especially overthinking things too - am trying to avoid that.

It’s probably been the worst and best of times the past few months, however I’ve found myself in a position now where I’m more confident than I’ve ever been, more outgoing, more conversational (less about Windows Phone) and have probably gained more than I ever thought - if I’d just been like this all along things wouldn’t have been so bad and wouldn’t have made so many mistakes, but what I can do is apply myself and keep motivated and not be unrealistic about things.

I have lots of work to do and have lacked that motivation that I used to have but it’s coming back without losing what I’ve gained but I do still feel down from time to time, but not as much as I did before and usually about specific things and then I don’t obsess about them - there are so many things I’ve missed out on and now I’m in a position to change things for the better, by just being realistic and positive and just being a better person is what I can do and not let things go too far in the wrong direction.

Not everyone knows all the things that have happened to me in the past, they aren’t really bad in the grand scheme of things but these things have made me the person I am today and I can only work with what I am and can’t expect anything to change overnight - except my willingness to change has changed, excuse the pun. I know the only person that can make anything happen is me, and so far it’s working well as I’m getting more focused and doing new things - some support from others is there and I know I can count on that which even if it isn’t given is a great thing to know that it’s there.

I’ve made one big change so far in work, and have changed to some extent my social life - by actually having one, and know I don’t have to even do much more than I was doing to enjoy myself - I’d supressed my feelings and emotions so long I’d forgotten how to feel most of them - the positive ones and the negative ones - but now I let them out I feel much better for doing so and don’t feel too much more like an outsider - even though I still remain a little on the edge of most situations and don’t really get involved.